A Lover's Diary

A collection of 83 rather besotted love sonnets by Gilbert Parker, written early in his career, with an accompanying interesting and someone apologetic Introduction by the author himself. Sir Gilbert Parker, as he came to be known, went on to become politically active, as well as a great story-teller, prolific novelist, and mature poet, centering his stories in the area of Quebec, Canada.


By : Gilbert Parker (1862 - 1932)

00 - Introduction



01 - The Vision



02 - Above The Din



03 - Love's Courage



04 - Love's Language



05 - Aspiration



06 - The Meeting



07 - The Nest, Egyptian Proverbs, and Pisgah



08 - Love Is Enough



09 - At The Play



10 - So Calm The World



11 - The Welcome



12 - The Shrine



13 - The Torch



14 - In Armour



15 - In Thee My Art



16 - Denial



17 - Testament



18 - Captivity



19 - O Mystic Wings



20 - Was It Thy Face?



21 - A Woman's Hand



22 - One Face I See



23 - Mother



24 - When First I Saw Thee



25 - The Fates Laugh



26 - As One Who Waiteth



27 - The Sealing



28 - The Pledge



29 - Love's Tributaries



30 - The Choice



31 - Recognition



32 - The Way Of Dreams



33 - The Accolade



34 - Fallen Idols



35 - Tennyson



36 - Dreams



37 - The Bride



38 - The Wraith



39 - Surrender



40 - The Citadel



41 - Malfeasance



42 - Annunciation



43 - Vanished Dreams



44 - Into Thy Land



45 - Divided



46 - We Must Live On



47 - Yet Life Is Sweet



48 - Lost Footsteps



49 - The Closed Door



50 - The Chalice



51 - Mio Destino



52 - I have Beheld



53 - Too Soon Away



54 - The Treasure



55 - Dahin



56 - Love's Usury



57 - The Decree



58 - 'Tis Morning Now



59 - Sacrifice



60 - Shine On



61 - SoThou Art Gone



62 - The Thousand Things



63 - The Sea



64 - The Chart



65 - Revealing



66 - Overcoming



67 - Whither Now



68 - Ararat



69 - As Light Leaps Up



70 - The Darkened Way



71 - Reunited



72 - Song Was Gone From Me



73 - Good Was The Fight



74 - Unchanged



75 - Absolvo Te



76 - Benedictus



77 - The Message



78 - Unavailing



79 - You Shall Live On



80 - ''Vex Not This Ghost''



81 - The Memory



82 - The Passing



83 - Envoy


‘A Lover’s Diary’ has not the same modest history as ‘Embers’. As far back as 1894 it was given to the public without any apology or excuse, but I have been apologising for it ever since, in one way—without avail. I wished that at least one-fifth of it had not been published; but my apology was never heard till now as I withdraw from this edition of A Lover’s Diary some twenty-five sonnets representing fully one-fifth of the original edition. As it now stands the faint thread of narrative is more distinct, and redundancy of sentiment and words is modified to some extent at any rate. Such material story as there is, apart from the spiritual history embodied in the sonnets, seems more visible now, and the reader has a clearer revelation of a young, aspiring, candid mind shadowed by stern conventions of thought, dogma, and formula, but breaking loose from the environment which smothered it. The price it pays for the revelation is a hopeless love informed by temptation, but lifted away from ruinous elements by self-renunciation, to end with the inevitable parting, poignant and permanent, a task of the soul finished and the toll of the journey of understanding paid.

The six sonnets in italics, beginning with ‘The Bride’, and ending with ‘Annunciation’, have nothing to do with the story further than to show two phases of the youth’s mind before it was shaken by speculation, plunged into the sadness of doubt and apprehension, and before it had found the love which was to reveal it to itself, transform the character, and give new impulse and direction to personal force and individual sense. These were written when I was twenty and twenty-one years of age, and the sonnet sequence of ‘A Lover’s Diary’ was begun when I was twenty-three. They were continued over seven years in varying quantity. Sometimes two or three were written in a week, and then no more would be written for several weeks or maybe months, and it is clearly to be seen from the text, from the change in style, and above all in the nature of the thought that between ‘The Darkened Way’, which ends one epoch, and ‘Reunited’, which begins another and the last epoch, were intervening years.

The sonnet which begins the book and particularly that which ends the book have been very widely quoted, and ‘Envoy’ has been set to music by more than one celebrated musician. Whatever the monotony of a sonnet sequence (and it is a form which I should not have chosen if I had been older and wiser) there has been a continuous, if limited, demand for the little book. As Edmund Clarence Stedman said in a review, it was a book which had to be written. It was an impulse, a vision, and a revealing, and, in his own words in a letter to me, “It was to be done whether you willed it or no, and there it is a truthful thing of which you shall be glad in spite of what you say.”

These last words of the great critic were in response to the sudden repentance and despair I felt after Messrs. Stone and Kimball had published the book in exquisite form with a beautiful frontispiece by Will H. Low. In any case, it is now too late to try and disabuse the minds of those who care for the little piece of artistry, and since 1894, when it was published, I have matured sufficiently in life’s academy not to be too unduly sensitive either as to the merit or demerit of my work. There is, after all, an unlovable kind of vanity in acute self-criticism —as though it mattered deeply to the world whether one ever wrote anything; or, having written, as though it mattered to the world enough to stir it in its course by one vibration. The world has drunk deep of wonderful literature, and all that I can do is make a small brew with a little flavour of my own; but it still could get on very well indeed with the old staple and matured vintages were I never to write at all.

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