The Wit and Humor of America, Vol 01

The Wit and Humor of America is a 10 volume series. In this, the first volume, 53 short stories and poems have been gathered from 44 authors. This volume is sure to delight listeners.

00 - Forward - Marshall P. Wilder



01 - Melons - Bret Harte



02 - The Deacon's Masterpiece - Oliver Wendell Holmes



03 - The Purple Cow - Gelett Burgess



04 - The Curse of the Competent - Henry J. Finn



05 - The Grammatical Boy - Bill Nye



06 - Simple English - Ray Clarke Rose



07 - Partingtonian Patchwork - B. P. Shillaber



08 - The Menagerie - William Vaughn Moody



09 - Down Around the River - James Whitcomb Riley



10 - A Medieval Discoverer - Bill Nye



11 - Wanted - A Cook - Alan Dale



12 - Similar Cases - Charlotte Perkins Gilman



13 - The Old Maid's House: In Plan - Elizabeth Stuart Phelps



14 - Distichs - John Hay



15 - The Quarrel - S.E. Kiser



16 - A Letter from Mr. Biggs - E. W. Howe



17 - Mrs. Johnson - William Dean Howells



18 - Pass - Ironquill



19 - Teaching by Example - John G. Saxe



20 - When Albani Sang - William Henry Drummond



21 - Colonel Sterett's Panther Hunt - Alfred Henry Lewis



22 - Wouter Van Twiller - Washington Irving



23 - The Experiences of the A.C. - Bayard Taylor



24 - What Mr. Robinson Thinks - James Russell Lowell



25 - The Day We Do Not Celebrate - Robert J. Burdett



26 - The Yankee Dude'll Do - S. E. Kiser



27 - Spelling Down The Master - Edward Eggleston



28 - Myopia - Wallace Rice



29 - Anatole Dubois At De Horse Show - Wallace Bruce Amsbary



30 - The Champion Checker-Player of Ameriky - James Whitcomb Riley



31 - Darby and Joan - St. John Honeywood



32 - When the Frost is on the Punkin - James Whitcomb Riley



33 - Laffing - Josh Billings



34 - Grizzly Gru - Ironquill



35 - John Henry on a Street Car - Hugh McHugh



36 - The Muskeeter - Josh Billings



37 - The Turnings of a Bookworm - Carolyn Wells



38 - The Feast of the Monkeys - John Philip Sousa



39 - The Billville Spirit Meeting - Frank L. Stanton



40 - A Cry From the Consumer - Wilbur D. Nesbit



41 - A Disappointment - John Boyle O'Reilly



42 - The British Matron by Nathanie - Nathaniel Hawthorne



43 - The Tragedy of it - Alden Charles Nobel



44 - Stage Whispers - Carolyn Wells



45 - The Pettibone Lineage - James T. Fields



46 - Why Moles Have Hands - Anne Virginia Culbertson



47 - A Psalm of Life - Phoebe Cary



48 - An Odyssey of K's - Wilbur D. Nesbit



49 - The Deacon's Trout - Henry Ward Beecher



50 - Enough - Tom Masson



51 - The Fighting Race - Joseph I.C. Clarke



52 - The Organ - Henry Ward Beecher



53 - My Grandmother's Turkey-Tail Fan - Samuel Minturn Peck


Happiness and laughter are two of the most beautiful things in the world, for they are of the few that are purely unselfish. Laughter is not for yourself, but for others. When people are happy they present a cheerful spirit, which finds its reflection in every one they meet, for happiness is as contagious as a yawn. Of all the emotions, laughter is the most versatile, for it plays equally well the role of either parent or child to happiness.

Then can we say too much in praise of the men who make us laugh? God never gave a man a greater gift than the power to make others laugh, unless it is the privilege of laughing himself. We honor, revere, admire our great soldiers, statesmen, and men of letters, but we love the man who makes us laugh.

No other man to-day enjoys to such an extent the close personal affection, individual yet national, that is given to Mr. Samuel L. Clemens. He is ours, he is one of us, we have a personal pride in him—dear "MarkTwain," the beloved child of the American nation. And it was through our laughter that he won our love.

He is the exponent of the typically American style of fun-making, the humorous story. I asked Mr. Clemens one day if he could remember the first money he ever earned. With his inimitable drawl he said:

"Yes, Marsh, it was at school. All boys had the habit of going to school in those days, and they hadn't any more respect for the desks than they had for the teachers. There was a rule in our school that any boy marring his desk, either with pencil or knife, would be chastised publicly before the whole school, or pay a fine of five dollars. Besides the rule, there was a ruler; I knew it because I had felt it; it was a darned hard one, too. One day I had to tell my father that I had broken the rule, and had to pay a fine or take a public whipping; and he said:

"'Sam, it would be too bad to have the name of Clemens disgraced before the whole school, so I'll pay the fine. But I don't want you to lose anything, so come upstairs.'

"I went upstairs with father, and he was for-giving me. I came downstairs with the feeling in one hand and the five dollars in the other, and decided that as I'd been punished once, and got used to it, I wouldn't mind taking the other licking at school. So I did, and I kept the five dollars. That was the first money I ever earned."

The humorous story as expounded by Mark Twain, Artemus Ward, and Robert J. Burdette, is purely American. Artemus Ward could get laughs out of nothing, by mixing the absurd and the unexpected, and then backing the combination with a solemn face and earnest manner. For instance, he was fond of such incongruous statements as: "I once knew a man in New Zealand who hadn't a tooth in his head," here he would pause for some time, look reminiscent, and continue: "and yet he could beat a base-drum better than any man I ever knew...

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